Economics can be defined as the science of predicting the past.
The last stop for failed mathematicians and physicists, Economics is more popular than its more esoteric brethren, as it deals with dumbed-down topics understandable by the ordinary people, or consumers, as they are known in the doublespeak of economists.
Economics reached its greatest heights almost instantaneously upon creation, with quantification of the status quo, in Adam Smith’s cute phrase Supply and Demand.
Supply and Demand
This revolutionary notion posited that if everyone wanted a product – oil, tulip bulbs or houses, for example – the price tended to go up. If no-one wanted a product – oil, tulip bulbs or houses one year later, for example – the price tended to collapse.
Other mental leaps included the observation that industries producing goods tended to cluster near some means of transportation, rather than producing goods on remote rocky islands or amidst vast boglands, where the goods would be safe from the greedy mitts of the eager paying public. Truly groundbreaking stuff.
Since then, it’s been downhill for economics, as its proponents have descended into a series of ever more obtuse attempts to explain, in mathematical terms, the inexplicable and irrational behaviours of mankind.
Nevertheless, economics remains popular, and in particular those economists with the gift of intelligibility. They use simple terms to explain why things are the way they are, using erroneous data or misguided notions to understand how, for example, the Market behaves the way it does.
The truth is, of course, that no one can understand the Market (see Monotheistic Religions), for it is a quantum recursive phenomenon.
If the Market could be understood, after all, it could be altered (for who would fail to alter it for their own profit?). Yet, if the Market could be affected in such a way, it would adjust to the new reality, so that the initial conditions used to understand the Market would no longer be valid. In overcoming this apparently insurmountable obstacle to understanding the Market, it can help to have a massive ego and/or cocaine addiction.
The Outlook for Economics
Despite growing evidence that economics as it has been taught for the past forty years is completely at odds with the realities of economic behaviour, vast funds of money continue to pour into institutions for further research to help prove that this is not the case. It is rumoured, furthermore, that some economists are engaged in efforts to prove that the earth is flat, and they claim to have the mathematical skills to prove it.