Gladiator II

Yes, the movie that was too good not to have a sequel.

Quick recap of the original (with a tweak to the end)…


The general who became a slave.

The slave who became a gladiator.

The gladiator who defied an emperor became a circus performer.

Quake, mighty Rome, at the majesty of my makeup!

A circus performer who performed magic tricks at senatorial gatherings and became a politician.

A politician who would one day rule all Rome and became a general once more…


Gladiator II:

From Riches to Rags to Riches

giphy (1)
“…and if I just suck the brains out of these voodoo dolls…”

The story of a former-clown-turned-politician-and-general who would lose ignominiously in battle and became a slave once more.

The slave who fought for better rights for slaves including reduced working hours and compensation.

[A slave who became a salve through a typographical error, soothing away all the world’s worries and pains, before becoming a slave again when the editor realised his mistake.]

A slave with reduced working hours who would then campaign as an Independent senator in the open and turbulent political landscape of the time, losing heavily and being thrown into debtor’s prison having declared bankruptcy.

The bankrupt prisoner who discovered Jesus, then lost Him again in the darkness of the prison, then found another guy who called himself Edmond Dantés who helped him to escape from the prison.

The hell’s a camera doin’ in my tunnel? 

The escaped prisoner who became a pirate on the open seas, terrorising the Roman navy, and gathering about him a group of loyal men and women, setting sail for the fabled land beyond the Pillars of Hercules, where they all live happily ever after…

Yeah, right! As if!


Gladiator III:

From Riches to Rags to Riches. Again!

The wealthy pirate who becomes—

I’m sorry, I just can’t go on, but it involves theme park rides, franchising opportunities and a decent movie at least once every third or fourth attempt.

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