In brief: the Blue Whale

Backstrokes

The blue whale (Balaenoptera musculus) lives in perpetual fear of drowning. It is estimated that up to three-quarters of all blue whales list drowning as their major fear.

As such, they avoid capture by the US Navy, and list waterboarding as a pet hate.

Krilling me softly

A further narrow majority (56%) state that they don’t like the taste of krill, their major food source, which is why they prefer to swallow them than chew. On the whole, though, the lot of the blue whale is a good one. They fear no large predator. Perhaps that is their fatal flaw, right there, because what kills them isn’t a larger predator, but Man (aka Homo Sapiens), the sneaky little fucker, who persists in destroying planet Earth before securing onward accommodation on, say, Mars, the Moon, or one of the other 40 billion potentially habitable planets. (Pure carelessness, humans.)

Learn more about other animals: the kangaroo, fish, cows, more cows, giraffes and more (no animal fetishes here, honest!)

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Quote of the day

There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is having your quote misattributed. — Jesus Christ, Chronicles

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