Kittens2Killers Solutions, the world’s premier assassination firm, is offering this amazing deal:
THIS WEEK ONLY:
2-for-1 on all¹ Urban Male Caucasians².
Terms and Conditions:
- Applicable in North America and Western Europe only.
- The term ‘Caucasian’ is taken to define those persons otherwise classified as ‘white’, ‘cracker’, ‘vanilla’ or ‘pasty-face’, and specifically not ethnic groups from the Caucasus Mountains – for great deals and special offers on this type of Caucasian, check out our partner firm Russians2Killers.
- Both 2-for-1 targets must be living in same city, or co-located therein at time of contract completion.
- Cannot be used in conjunction with any other offers.
- Kittens2Killers accept no liability in respect of any contract rendered incomplete. A full rebate (less our expenses and the 10% deposit) will be made available to clients within 60 calendar days. Alternatively, the full amount will be credited to your account towards one target of your choosing (ambassadorial rank or lesser only).
- Payment must be made in full 10 business days in advance of the contract completion. Failure to do so renders the agreement null and void, and may affect your ability to contract with us in the future.
Don’t forget to check out our other great offer this week:
NEW: Nip it in the Bud!
Following the recent UN legislative change, we are now happy to offer 40%-off deals on minors.† Offer ends soon!
† If co-located with primary target and not trained in self-defenceª, hand-to-hand combat or small firearms.
ª Self-defence includes (but is not limited to) karate, judo and jujitsu. Explicitly excluded are yoga, zumba and pilates.
Why choose us?
We are the industry leader in problem-solving. Our 85% success rate speaks volumes about our ability to get the job done worldwide, in the toughest environments, and that average beats out our nearest rivals by over 7%, and more than 12% on high-value targets. Let’s face it, when it comes to taking care of these kinds of problems, you want to know the job’s been taken care of: after all, if your team doesn’t succeed on your intended target, you can be sure you’ll be next on our hitlist.
Don’t miss out on further online specials. Sign up below, or miss out. (And risk assassination by our hit-squads.)